This guide is from Qogito, an AI personal advisor — not a chatbot and not a therapist, but a board of four advisors (Devon, Mara, Sam, and Kai) who think a question through with you from different angles instead of just agreeing, through a real-time group conversation with you.
Most negotiations are won or lost before anyone sits down. The person who’s thought clearly about what they actually want, what they’d truly settle for, and what the other side is really after walks in steadier — and steadiness is most of the advantage. The trouble is that this thinking is hard to do in your head, mid-conversation, with adrenaline rising.
So before you answer these, find something to write with. Writing your answers down forces the vague hopes and fears into concrete numbers and trades you can actually work with. Take them slowly, well before the meeting. The aim isn’t a script; it’s to know your own position and read theirs clearly enough to stay calm under pressure.
Know your own position
You can't hold your nerve in the room if you haven't decided, calmly and in advance, what you actually want and where your floor is.
- What do you actually want from this — your real target — and what's the difference between that and what you'd genuinely settle for?
- What's your walk-away point — your BATNA, the thing you'll do if there's no deal — and how strong is it really?
- What do you bring that the other side genuinely values, and how clearly can you articulate it without overstating or apologising for it?
- What's your biggest fear going into this — the outcome you most want to avoid — and how much is it quietly driving your choices?
Know theirs
The room for a good deal usually lives in what the other side wants underneath what they say they want.
- What does the other side really want underneath their stated position — the interest beneath the demand — and how sure are you?
- What are their alternatives, and what pressures are on them — time, money, reputation, a boss of their own — that you could be reading better?
- Where do your interests genuinely overlap — the things you each care about unequally — that open room for trades rather than a tug-of-war?
- What specific questions will you ask early to learn more before you push, so you're negotiating with information rather than assumptions?
The calmest person in a negotiation is usually the most prepared one. Do this thinking now, on paper, so that in the room you’re remembering rather than improvising.
Walking in prepared is most of the advantage — and it helps to pressure-test your thinking first. Reflect on them on your Career & Mastery board.